


just give me this one thing, that's all i ask

by channelorange



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-26
Updated: 2012-07-26
Packaged: 2017-11-10 19:31:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/469858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/channelorange/pseuds/channelorange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Liam have just started dating, and everything's going great. But because of Liam and Harry's extremely close "friendship", Zayn continuously wonders if Liam's really serious about their relationship. There is constant worry, ignorance and anger on Zayn's side, but he feels stuck because no one else seems to notice their connection but him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	just give me this one thing, that's all i ask

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fic here on AO3, and first 1D fic I've published. Ziam is my (heart-breaking) OTP, and so I wanted to start off with this. I hope you guys enjoy! :3

Zayn doesn’t think he’s ever felt this way about any relationship he’s ever been in. He’s always been happy to start a new relationship—that initial feeling a person gets when they start to see someone, the excitement, the wonder, and everything else that comes with it. But this time, it feels different. It’s even more exciting, more thrilling, more rapid heartbeats than he’s ever experienced. He tries not to make it seem that he’s only like this because the two of them have been dancing around each other for what seemed like an eternity, when the rest of the guys would get honestly enraged when Zayn told them that nothing changed yet, that they’re still friends, and maybe that’s all they’re meant to be. Louis even slapped him across the face, which only pissed Zayn off, but it’s Louis and no one ever knows how he’s going to react to, well, anything.

The point is, whenever Zayn looks over at him, whether it be during an interview where the corner of his mouth would tug up just a bit, or when they’re all hanging out together and his arm goes around Zayn’s waist, his hand on Zayn’s hip like it belongs there as he gives him that mind-blowing smile that scrunches up his nose and makes his eyes almost invisible, those are the moments when Zayn gets those insane feelings. The feeling of falling harder than he’s ever fallen for _anyone_. It’s all a bit surreal, and sometimes Zayn has to be snapped back to reality because he drifts off into a world where he wonders what he would do if this all wasn’t his life. But when he comes back, blinking a few times, to look at the brown eyes that are looking at him with curiosity, Zayn smiles and leans into his touch just because he can, because this _is_ his life and would dread having it any other way.

Zayn doesn’t know what time it is, but he knows he doesn’t want to get out of bed when he feels the other side shifting. He wonders, with his half-conscious mind, if he can just bury himself further into the bed, then he wouldn’t have to get up to do anything today. He’s almost positive that this is a foolproof plan as he grabs as many more of the sheets that he can to tug over his body, but a hand stops him by the wrist.

“Oh, no you don’t,” a voice says with a light chuckle, “you are getting out of bed because it’s just about 13:30 in the evening and we have things to do today, like a concert and such.”

As much as Zayn loves the fact that he gets to wake up to that voice every morning, he whines at this very moment while he keeps trying to tug the covers because he’s _tired_ and he still has hours before he has to worry about a concert. “No,” he mumbles into the pillow, half-heartedly having a tug-o-war, “five more minutes, I promise, I’ll be up.”

“I’ve fallen for that too many times, Malik. It isn’t going to work anymore,” the voice tells him, starting to peel off Zayn’s fingers from around the covers. “Come now, by the time you’ve gotten up, bathed, and eaten, we’ll be on our way to the arena. Now up.” The sheets are being completely pulled off Zayn, who whines louder than before as he huddles up into a ball. “You are such a baby,” he laughs, reaching down and running his fingers through Zayn’s messy locks. “C’mon, Zayn. Time to get up.”

Slowly but surely, Zayn begins to stretch out and open his eyes since his persistent, personal alarm clock isn’t going to give up anytime soon. He looks up with tired eyes, arching his back as he says, “Your hair is all wet.”

Another laugh as he reaches up and tugs on his own hair. “Because I’ve gotten up and taken a shower while you were still sleeping. Now it’s your turn. We’ll go and get food with the lads right after.”

Zayn grunts as his body stretches and his bones pop, letting himself relax back into the bed. “I’m up, I’m up,” he says, reaching and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Gosh, it’s like a project to wake you,” he smirks, leaning down and pushing Zayn’s hair back before pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Good afternoon, Zayn,” he mumbles against his skin.

Zayn’s heart may have flipped once or twice, but he opens his eyes and locks them with his boyfriend’s. “Good morning, Liam.”

Liam smiles, one of those smiles that reach his eyes, and he kisses Zayn’s forehead once more. “I’ll start cleaning up ‘round the room. Go shower so we can eat. You know how cranky Niall gets when he has to wait for us.”

Nodding, Zayn finally musters up enough strength to swing his legs around and sit up on the edge of the bed. He watches with half-lidded eyes as Liam walks around their hotel suite and pick up stray clothes that have been thrown around. He gets a big mesmerized, staring at the slice of Liam’s skin that he sees every time he bends down and his shirt rides up.

He reaches up and absent mindedly scratches his chest. “I’m a bit upset that you took a shower without me,” Zayn says with a smirk, watching Liam’s neck begin to flush. “Now you have to think of all the water you wasted by making me take a separate shower.”

Liam laughs and shakes his head as he makes his way over to Zayn again, putting a hand on his cheek. Zayn’s hand immediately goes to Liam’s hip, his fingers sliding under his shirt to touch as much skin as he can. “Trust me, we would have wasted a ton more water if we ended up taking a shower together,” he whispers before pressing the quickest of pecks on Zayn’s lips. “Now go _shower_ , you twit. You’re not getting a proper kiss until you’re clean and you’ve brushed your teeth.”

“You know, I think that’s some sort of relationship abuse, refusing to kiss your boyfriend,” Zayn comments, standing up and making his way to the bathroom.

“I’ll show you abuse,” Liam grins, grabbing one of the couch pillows and whipping it in Zayn’s direction. He yelps and narrowly misses the pillow, sticking his tongue out at Liam before quickly ducking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.

He quickly showers and cleans himself thoroughly, loving the feeling of being fresh. But he knows that Liam and probably the rest of the boys are waiting for him, so Zayn dries off as efficiently as he can and wraps the towel around his waist, walking back out to the suite living room. He sees Liam pushing both of their suitcases nearly into a corner so it’ll be easier to grab their things and go when they need to.

Zayn opens his mouth to say something, but Liam cuts him off without even turning around. “I laid out an outfit on our bed for you so you wouldn’t tear up your suitcase and make another mess that I’ll have to clean up.”

Zayn blinks and looks over at their bed, seeing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that Zayn has been looking for _forever_ , also including a pair of sneakers and some socks next to the rest of the clothes.

“Oh my god, where did you find this shirt? I’ve been searching for it for a lifetime,” Zayn comments, walking over towards the bed. “I thought I’d lost it in one of the cities a few weeks ago. This is brilliant.”

While Zayn’s changing, tugging on a pair of briefs, he feels arms wrap around his waist from behind as he picks up his jeans. “I found it where the rest of your clothes should be, neatly folded at the bottom of your suitcase,” Liam says, leaning down and pressing a light kiss to Zayn’s collarbone. “Honestly, what would you do without me? You would have absolutely no clean clothes, you would be late for everything, and you’d always be cranky.” Zayn feels Liam ‘tsk’ against his skin and he laughs, shaking his head. “If you’d ask me, I’d say that you were lucky to have me around.”

Zayn tosses his jeans back onto the bed before turning around in Liam’s arms, bringing his hands up to cup his face as he looks into his eyes. “You have no idea how true that statement is,” Zayn whispers, his fingers slightly curling into Liam’s hair as he feels the boy smiling under his palms. “I am incredibly happy to have you around, every single day. You’re just too fantastic not to wake up to. I would be truly lost if you weren’t right here, in my arms, at this very moment.”

Liam’s face is blushing red, but his eyes don’t leave Zayn’s. His smile is blinding and Zayn may be a little breathless, but he’s brought back into the real world when he feels Liam’s lips against his. He sighs contently through his nose, bringing his hands around Liam’s neck to tug him closer and deepen the kiss.

As Zayn feels Liam’s hands sliding down towards his lower back, there are four loud knocks (Zayn would call them ‘bangs’, but that’s just his opinion) on their door. “’Ey, lovebirds! We’re starving out here! Food isn’t walk to us, y’know! Let’s go!” Niall yells through the door.

The two pull away from each other, Zayn with a groan and Liam with a laugh. “Alright, no more dawdling, get dressed and let’s go,” Liam says, kissing the tip of Zayn’s nose before he lets go of him and goes to finish tidying up the room.

While Zayn’s getting dressed, he can’t help but watch Liam go around the room as he sports a tiny smile across his lips.

He truly did mean what he said to Liam, hoping that he’ll take Zayn’s words to heart. What they have, this relationship, it’s practically perfect (most of the perfection coming from Liam, of course) and Zayn only thinks it’ll get better from here on out.

But Zayn always forgets one thing.

Their suite room door opens with no knocks as Zayn is situating his t-shirt. He looks up, seeing Harry in their room with a card key in his hand. Before Zayn gets a chance to ask why Harry has a card key to their room, he answers it for him without being prompted. “Liam gave me a copy of the key. Do you know where he is, by the way?”

Zayn still hasn’t said anything as he hears Liam yell, “Hazza!” from the other room. Harry grins, widewidewide, barely looking over at Zayn before following the voice.

Zayn always forgets about Liam’s (clingy, obsessive, might-possibly-be-in-love-with-him) best friend, Harry Styles.

**

It’s not like Zayn hates Harry, because he doesn’t. He’s one of Zayn’s best friends, they’ve gone through an incredible journey together with the rest of the boys, and they’re all too close to feel any sort of hate towards each other.

It just so happens that Zayn may be a closet jealous freak, and it just so happens that Harry’s the one he’s always jealous of. Seriously, _always_. Ever since the beginning, when they were all new to each other and Zayn’s crush on Liam was just blossoming, one of the first real bonds began with Liam and Harry. A lot of people thought it was Harry and Louis, but their bond was more physical in the beginning as opposed to Liam and Harry’s. The two would talk all hours of the night, and when everyone else would wake up on the tour bus in the morning, they would still be in the front, squished next to each other, heads bent low, whispered words passing between them. Zayn can’t possibly count how many mornings he woke up to find Harry and Liam in some deep conversation that always made his heart sink a little more each time. Whenever Liam would act in any intimate way around Zayn—holding his hand/waist/wrist, whispering compliments in his ear, kisses to the forehead/cheek/corner of the mouth—Zayn would always wonder (after the initial shock of _Liam, kiss, touch, want, always_ ) if Liam did the same exact things to Harry. Up until Liam had asked him to be his boyfriend, Zayn just thought he was another Harry in Liam’s life. Yeah, it’s different now, except for moments like these.

Sometimes Zayn will sit and think, ruining his own mood about his own relationship. During interviews, he will look at Harry and Liam and think, _they look good together, they look like they belong. I don’t look like that with Liam, but Harry does. They look like they were meant to be together all along. Why did Liam pick me? When will he realize that he made a mistake?_

Someone will snap him back to reality, an interviewer or one of the boys saying his name. After those thoughts, Zayn will become quiet, distant, pulled away. In private, Liam will come up to him, cup his face with his hands and ask him if he’s okay. Zayn will always nod, blame it on exhaustion and lack of sleep, and Liam will believe him. He’ll kiss Zayn, leave lingering touches that makes Zayn forget about his previous thoughts.

Zayn knows Liam likes him, he does. He’s just waiting for the day for Liam to find out that he likes Harry more.

He’s standing by the door on his phone while he hears Liam and Harry laugh at something as they come out of the other room together. Zayn looks up and sees Harry’s arm around Liam’s shoulders, tugging him close as they continue to giggle in each other’s space. Zayn grits his teeth, feeling his jaw clench as he looks back down at his phone, scrolling through his Twitter feed mindlessly.

“Bah, I’m _starving_ ,” Harry comments, rubbing his belly as it lets out a growl. “And Nialler’s about to eat anyone who crosses his path towards food, so let’s get going.” He walks up to the door and opens it, but reaches over and gives Zayn a light smack with the back of his hand on his chest. “Maybe if pretty boy here didn’t take so bloody long to get up and ready, yeah?” he grins, walking out of the room with Liam following behind.

Zayn says nothing, his face blank, but he looks at Liam at the feel of his fingers wrapping around his wrist. “You okay?” Liam asks, his wide brown eyes searching Zayn’s.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go then,” Zayn nods, following Liam out of their suite. He wonders if Liam knows what’s bothering him sometimes, thinks that he might be able to read jealousy all over Zayn’s face. But he knows Liam, knows that he would say something about it so they didn’t have any problems with each other.

They meet up with Niall and Louis, Harry immediately sticking himself to Louis as he jumps on his back and demands a piggyback ride. Niall’s a bit quiet, grumpy, but he’ll be better whenever they get near food. Paul is trying to get Louis and Harry to settle down as they walk down the hallway towards the elevator. Zayn’s mind is still reeling, but when he feels a pinky hook around his and he looks up at Liam, who is giving him the shyest of smiles, Zayn breaks out into a blissful smile and chuckles, ducking his head down and gently knocks against Liam’s shoulder.

Maybe he’s just being paranoid. That’s a common feeling in any relationship. A lot of people just become overly worried and scared because of their own insecurities, so it’s not like Zayn is being a total freak about it. He has the right to worry about these things. Wouldn’t he not be a good boyfriend if he wasn’t worried about who’s hitting on his boyfriend? Maybe some people would think he’s being ridiculous because it’s his friend, one of his best friends, and it’s just silly to think that Harry would do something like that.

Well, some people just don’t know what Harry is really like.

Paul takes them to some local diner, a tiny place with mostly older people around who either don’t know who they are or don’t care. They sit in a booth, Zayn and Liam on one side and Niall, Louis and Harry on the other. Paul sits at the bar area with a couple of other crew members by the door in case anything happens.

After they get their drinks and put in their food orders, Niall is in a better mood as he begins chit-chatting to the rest of the boys. “Should be a great gig tonight, right lads?”

“Where are we again?” Louis questions, looking around and out the windows.

“We’re in a diner, Lou,” Harry says, shaking his head and chuckling. They all turn to look at Harry with a blank stare, making his smile slowly disappear and change his expression to one of confusion. “What?”

“He meant what state are we in, Haz,” Liam smirks, reaching over and ruffling Harry’s hair.

Harry reaches up and tries to push Liam’s hand away. “Well how was I supposed to know what he meant?” he asks, and then begins to laugh when Liam playfully tugs at his locks.

“You’re lucky you’re a good singer or else we would have no use for you,” Liam jokes, making the other guys laugh.

“Don’t forget devilishly handsome, Li,” Harry says, grabbing Liam’s hand from the top of his head and holding onto it, pulling it closer to his mouth. “Because I certainly know that _you_ think I’m a handsome gentleman.” He brings Liam’s hand closer and kisses his knuckles, laughing when Liam pulls his hand back.

Everyone’s laughing except Zayn, who’s sitting on the inside of the booth with both of his hands under the table, pulled into fists while he clenches his jaw to keep from saying anything. He can feel his face getting hot from the white, blinding anger, staring down at the table with a hard look so he doesn’t give the same look to Harry. Sometimes he wonders how no one else sees how angry this makes him because he feels like there’s smoke coming out of his ears. But maybe it is better that no one notices, because if they asked him what’s wrong, he might explode with all of things he’s been feeling for the past two years.

By the time their food comes, Zayn’s lost his appetite and he can’t even stomach more than a couple of bites before he pushes his plate away from in front of him.

Liam looks at his food before looking at Zayn. “You barely ate anything.”

Zayn just shrugs, twirling his soda around with his straw. “Just not hungry,” he mumbles, not turning his head to look at Liam.

“Is something wrong?” Liam asks, putting his right hand under the table so he can put it on Zayn’s leg. He spreads his hand out, letting his thumb sweep against the jean material quietly.

This is what Zayn hates; he hates feeling like he’s being a complete moron because he’s getting mad over something that nobody else notices. He’s obviously the only one who sees Liam and Harry’s intensely close connection and thinks something’s wrong with it. So why should he bother complaining about it when it doesn’t seem to be an issue with anyone else but him?

“No, nothing’s wrong. Just still tired. Guess I didn’t sleep well last night,” he replies, shrugging once more.

“I thought you slept fine, you barely moved around a lot like you usually do,” Liam tells him, his thumb still sweeping against Zayn’s leg.

“Well, then, who knows,” Zayn states, looking at Liam and giving him the smallest smile.

Liam doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t push it either. Yet, he keeps his hand on Zayn’s leg through the entire lunch, and maybe that calms Zayn’s nerves down a bit, even though he can’t stop noticing the way Harry looks at Liam only because it’s the same way he looks at Liam, too.

**

Soundcheck has just started and Zayn is absolutely starving. He knows he should’ve just stomached his lunch, but he was in such a bad mood about his stupid emotions that he didn’t want to eat. But their show is in a little less than two hours, and he needs something in his stomach before he goes on stage and collapses.

Walking over to where Paul is talking to one of the stage managers, he lightly taps his shoulder to get his attention. Paul turns around and smiles gently. “What’s up, man?”

Zayn smiles back, reaching up and scratching the back of his neck. “Hey, um. Is there any way I could get something to eat? Like a sandwich or some chips, just a little food. Didn’t really eat during lunch.”

“Yeah, I saw.” Paul claps his hand against Zayn’s shoulder and gives him a comforting squeeze. “I’ll get you something. Just go backstage and hang out on the couch and I’ll bring you some food there.”

“Thanks a lot, mate,” Zayn says, nodding to Paul before putting his mic down on a speaker and heading to the back. He runs his hands over his face and takes a deep breath, trying to get out of the funk that he’s been in. He hates that his emotions get the best of him, especially in times like these, but sometimes he just can’t help it.

He drops himself down on the couch, tossing his feet up on the other side and laying back, closing his eyes. Unfortunately, Zayn knows that he can’t lie here all night, even though he desperately wants to. But he has a responsibility and he can’t let anybody down just because he’s in a bad mood that someone’s flirting with his boyfriend.

When he hears footsteps, he opens his eyes and tilts his head, seeing Paul walking towards him with what looks like a wrapped up sub in his hand. Zayn sits up and smiles gratefully when Paul hands him the sandwich. “Thanks so much, Paul,” he tells him, putting the food in his lap and beginning to unravel it.

“No problem, kid,” he says, taking a seat next to him and leaning back, putting both arms on the back of the couch. It’s silent for a few moments before Paul speaks again. “So what’s going on with you and Liam?” Zayn freezes, stops chewing for a split second as he stares at his sandwich. “Or should I ask what’s going on with you and Harry? Maybe I should just ask what’s going on with _you_ because I haven’t seen you like this in a while.”

Zayn says nothing, just continues chewing and slightly shrugs, still staring down at his food. “Nothing, just not sleeping well, I guess,” he finally says after swallowing his bite.

“C’mon, man. You can use that excuse on the rest of the guys, but not me. I’m a lot older and wiser, so I see more of what goes on than you think,” Paul tells him, giving Zayn a bit of a stern look. “There’s no way of avoiding this, you’re obviously not happy with it, whatever it may be, and you seem to be the only one that’s acting different than usual. So you might as well talk about it now.”

Sighing, Zayn puts his sandwich back in the wrapper and puts it on the side table. He leans his elbows on his knees with his hands linked, biting his lip for a moment before shaking his head. “I don’t know how to explain it without it sounding stupid.”

“Well is everything okay? You and Liam are okay, right? There can’t be too many problems, you two just started dating,” Paul comments, which makes Zayn groan. “I guess I found the problem, then.”

“ _No_ , no, Liam isn’t the problem at all. Liam’s perfect in every way, there’s nothing wrong with him. The fact that we just started going out and I’m being a complete idiot is the problem,” Zayn says, looking at Paul. His face is still a bit confused and Zayn sits back on the couch, nibbling on his lip again. “If I tell you, you promise not to tell anyone? And I mean anyone, Paul, seriously. I haven’t talked about this to a soul—”

“Well, clearly,” Paul interrupts. “You’re all high strung and nervous.” Zayn glares at him, which makes Paul put his hands up in defense. “Zayn, man, I won’t tell anyone. I’m here for you to have someone to talk to, especially if you can’t talk to the guys about it.”

He takes a deep breath before turning his body to face Paul and begins to explain himself. “Okay, so look. Liam and I are great, we’re doing great, and everybody knows how long we were walking ‘round each other, yeah? He’s amazing and I couldn’t ask to be with anyone better because, well, to me, there is no one better than him.”

Paul smiles, resting his head in his hand. “That’s great, Zayn. I’m glad you’re happy with him, but if you’re this happy, then what’s the problem here?”

Zayn pauses, swallowing and closing his eyes. “It’s Harry.”

“Harry? Harry Styles?” Paul questions.

Then, Zayn doesn’t know what happened, but something inside of him just snaps. “Yes, Harry Styles. He’s just so… touchy! All he does is touch Liam and get in his space and hug him and kiss his hands and face and who knows if they’ve even kissed for real? I don’t know, because whenever Liam and I aren’t together, he’s _always_ with Harry! And—and it’s like Liam’s dating the both of us! I mean, I just don’t get how no one else sees it but me! So I just ignore it because I don’t want to make a problem out of nothing, but it’s so infuriating! But then I sit around like a complete twat, feeling like I’m bothering the two of them whenever we’re all around each other. And Niall and Louis don’t say a bloody word, so why should I? To ruin my own relationship? So how am I supposed to just—just _sit here_ and be forced to accept that my band mate is probably in love with my boyfriend. And hell, maybe it’s the other way around too! Who knows? Well, certainly not me, because I’m sitting here while they could be doing something behind my back and I would have no goddamn idea.” When he finally finishes, he takes a deep breath and leans back against the couch. Now, Zayn feels better that he actually got it off his chest, because it felt like a weight had been pulled off of him. On the other hand, he knows he’s still in the same position he’s been in. And then, well, Zayn just gets sad again.

There’s a bit of silence on Paul’s end before he finally speaks. “Well, Zayn, next time, tell me how you _really_ feel. I don’t think I got your point.”

Zayn grunts, covering his face with his hands. “What the hell am I going to do?” he mumbles against his palms.

“Honestly, Zayn, the best thing that you can do is talk to Liam about it,” Paul advises. “He’s your boyfriend and one of your best friends. You’re only hurting yourself by not saying anything about it, because the longer you wait, the longer you have to suffer. And then, at the point, it’s nobody’s fault but your own.” He reaches over and pats Zayn’s shoulder a couple of times before standing up off of the couch. “Liam’s a great kid, and so are you. You two are good together. Don’t let something that may not even be a problem, get in the way of it all.”

With that, Paul salutes to Zayn before heading back to the main stage, leaving Zayn with the rest of his sandwich and his thoughts.

He knows he has to talk to Liam, he does. But when he thinks about it, he thinks of all the scenarios that could happen—none of them with a happy outcome—and he’s suddenly afraid to talk to him about it, deciding to push it away and think of it as nothing when, deep down, he knows better.

As he’s just finished his sandwich and cleans himself off, Zayn hears footsteps once more and looks up. He recognizes Liam’s shadow before he even walks in, making his stomach turn into knots as a smile spreads across his face. Why would Zayn risk his relationship with constant worry when the simple presence of his boyfriend puts him in a better mood?

“There you are,” Liam says, returning Zayn’s smile when he stands up from the couch. Liam instantly grabs Zayn’s wrist and tugs him closer so their torsos are touching and puts his other arm around Zayn’s waist. “I was looking for you. Didn’t know if you went out for a smoke or something.”

“No, but I really need one now that you’ve mentioned it,” Zayn says, patting his back pocket to feel his cigarette box and lighter.

“Mind if I tag along?” Liam asks, a bit of a waver in his voice.

Zayn raises an eyebrow, knowing there’s utter confusion all across his face. “When do I ever mind you tagging along with me anywhere?” Zayn chuckles.

“No, I know, I just—” Liam starts, then shrugs and looks down. “You’ve been strange lately, didn’t know if it was something I did, or. You know, something going on.”

Frowning, Zayn reaches up and puts his fingers under Liam’s chin to tilt his head back up. “Hey, no, Li… look at me.” Liam does, his big, doe-brown eyes looking with Zayn’s. “I promise you, you’ve done nothing wrong. I’m just exhausted, you know. Haven’t been getting as much sleep as usual. I’m sure I’ll be fine tomorrow since we have a day off.” Liam still doesn’t look he believes Zayn, so Zayn does the only thing he can think of and kisses him.

He still gets butterflies in his stomach whenever they share a kiss, and Zayn knows he’ll never get tired of it. How could he? The feel of Liam’s lips against his, his soft skin under his fingertips as he runs them across his face, the exhale of Liam’s breath as he sinks into the kiss, these are all things that Zayn can’t possibly get sick of. Liam makes him feel like no one has before and he loves every moment of it all.

When Zayn pulls back and opens his eyes, Liam’s smiling again as he pushes his forehead against Zayn’s. “Okay, okay,” Liam says, “I just... worry about you. I don’t know what goes on in your head sometimes.”

“Well, I’m mostly thinking about you,” Zayn grins, seeing Liam smile wider. “About your laugh and this smile. Oh, and that time when we were in bed and you had that _dirty_ little mouth—”

“Zayn!” Liam gasps, quickly covering his mouth with his hand. “Don’t talk about that! Someone might hear you!” His neck is flushed red as he gently shoves Zayn towards the back door of the stadium, Zayn laughing the entire time.

They stand outside and bullshit while Zayn smokes a cigarette, Zayn listening to Liam talk about how Niall was doing cartwheels during soundcheck and how he wanted to see if he could sing at the same time. Zayn shakes his head but laughs anyway while watching Liam use his hands to show what Niall was attempting. They talk a bit about the rest of the tour, how they can’t wait to get home and be in their own beds.

“But, um,” Liam says, his tone dropping a bit. Zayn looks at him curiously, waiting for him to continue. “I wanted to talk to you about something, actually.”

Zayn nods, his heart beginning to beat faster as he tries to think of what it could be. “Yeah, okay,” he says, swallowing the lump in his throat. Truthfully, he thinks this is it—the moment that Liam will tell him his true feelings for Harry, how he and Zayn just don’t connect the way he does with Harry, and how it’s all been fun, but it’s time he gets serious with the one he really wants to be with.

Liam takes a deep breath and opens his mouth to speak, but then the back door busts open with Louis and Harry’s heads popping out. “Found ya, lads!” Louis exclaims, opening the door wider. “Come now, stage managers need to talk to us all, something about our safety and no climbing and other hullabaloo,” Louis says, waving his hand around carelessly.

“Okay,” Liam nods and turns to Zayn, smiling a bit. “I’ll talk to you about that later, yeah?”

“Um, yeah, sure,” Zayn says, putting out his cigarette and throwing it away before following everyone else back inside.

Liam asks Louis and Harry about why stage management needs to tell them to be safe, and immediately Harry says something first, getting closer to Liam to wrap his arm around his waist. He leans against Liam as he speaks, Zayn watching with a bit of a bewildered look on his face. When Liam laughs at something Harry says, Harry grins widely, his fingers gripping Liam’s hip over his shirt, making it ride up to expose skin.

And just like that, Zayn’s mood went right down the drain, yet again.

**

They’re just about done with the show, and Zayn never remembers feeling as tired as he does right now. His legs feel like they’re throbbing from running and jumping all over the stage, his clothes are sticking to his body in every way possible, and his temper is just about to go overboard. Because, well, apparently, Harry decides to give all the attention, that he usually gives to Louis, to Liam tonight. And Zayn is simply waiting for the moment that he explodes because he can feel it creeping up his spine.

Although Harry is touchy with everyone—more so Louis than anyone—he has been nonstop crowding Liam throughout the entire show tonight. Touching his neck, hands, holding him by his waist as he whispers something in his ear that makes Liam grin that wide grin Zayn loves so much, jumping on his back for piggyback rides around the stage, and verbally flirting with him over the microphone so the thousands of people (girls) in the crowd can scream and freak out. And while all of this is going on, Zayn is watching, his hard glare hoping to go right through Harry so he gets the hint.

As they sing the chorus of “What Makes You Beautiful,” Zayn notices that Harry is, quite literally, singing the entire song to Liam. It’s making Zayn’s blood boil, his fingers twitching against his side as he resists walking over and lying Harry out with just one punch.

Usually, every single time they sing this song, Zayn sings his part to Liam because whenever Zayn is staring into Liam’s eyes, he eventually laughs and breaks their gaze shyly, which only makes Zayn fall for him a little bit more. But this time, when Liam glances over at Zayn right before his part, Zayn doesn’t look back and just sings to the crowd, trying his hardest to keep the irritation off of his face. It definitely hurts to not sing to Liam for the first time ever since they started this tour, but he assumes that Harry’s been singing to him enough, he certainly doesn’t need Zayn.

During Harry’s solo, he slowly walks towards Liam with a cheeky grin on his face as he serenades him, making all the girls scream even louder. Zayn’s just about had it, is completely drained of all emotions besides hate, and his body is thrumming with pure adrenaline and anger.

As his mind is coming up with ways to disembody Harry Styles during the short break in between songs, Zayn feels a hand on his shoulder. Looking to his left, he sees Louis with a sympathetic face before he leans in and whispers into Zayn’s ear, “I know it hurts, but you can’t let it show, because then it will just ruin you.”

After he pulls back, Zayn looks at Louis once more. He has a bit of a sad smile on his face and mouths, “I know,” one more time before he pats his own chest a couple of times, over his heart. Zayn tries to smile as much as he can, patting his own chest in return.

Unfortunately, Zayn knows that Louis is right—he needs to get a grip and pull himself together. Not only will all of the guys notice his drastic mood change, but so will the fans, which only cause them to talk and make ridiculous rumors about him.

So for the rest of the night, he tries to be as active as possible. He interacts with Niall and Louis the whole time, glancing at Liam after he sees him look over with a sad stare. He hates that he feels like this is all Liam’s fault, because it’s not, but Liam makes no effort to even push Harry away or ask Zayn if he’s okay with the way Harry’s acting.

They go to the back to get changed for the last song, and as soon as Zayn takes off his shirt, he sees Liam standing there, his skin flushed with eyes full of worry and sadness. “Zayn, what’s going on?” he asks, his tone demanding an answer.

“Nothing,” he quickly replies. “C’mon, we gotta get changed, Liam, hurry.” Zayn turns away to get the rest of his outfit and refuses to look at Liam and see the anguished expression on his face.

Running back out to the almost deafening screams, Liam and Louis do a little back and forth before they begin to sing “I Want”. Zayn tries to put everything he can into this song because it’s their last for the night and all he can think of is the bed that he’ll be lying in after tonight is over. Although it hurts to think if Liam will be lying with him or not, because Zayn truly doesn’t know.

Thankfully, because Louis knows, he pays extra attention to Zayn during this song, and it makes Zayn smile. Louis will put his arm around Zayn’s waist, sing to him, and make goofy faces at him, which makes him laugh throughout the entire performance. At other times, he would tell corny jokes or say funny words in Zayn’s ear that make a burst of laughter come out, and by the end of the song, Zayn’s in a sufficiently better mood.

They all line up to take their bow, waving to the crowd before sharing their own hugs. Immediately, Zayn goes over to Louis and practically throws himself into his arms, their bodies crushing each other’s with their tight embrace. The two rock back and forth, Zayn’s head buried in Louis’ neck. “Thank you so much, Lou,” Zayn mumbles, his eyes shut tight as he gives Louis another squeeze.

“Don’t say thank you, just know that I will _always_ be here,” Louis tells him, reaching up and squeezing the back of Zayn’s neck before they go of each other.

As Louis goes over to hug Niall, Zayn looks at Harry and Liam, only to feel his heart drop. Harry’s hands are cupping his face, a grin on his lips as he stares at Liam. Zayn doesn’t hear it, but can read his lips when he tells Liam, “I love you, Li. I love you, love, love, okay? I love you.” Zayn sees Liam nod before Harry pulls him into a huge hug, which seems tight enough to crush Zayn’s heart.

Zayn’s even able to hug Niall and Louis once more before Harry and Liam break their embrace. As much as Zayn doesn’t want to, he steps up to Harry and hugs him, patting his back a couple of times. Harry returns the hug and pats before they let go and Harry is able to hug Louis and Niall.

Zayn looks at Liam, who was already looking at him. He gives him a tiny smile before stepping closer and wrapping his arms around Liam. Liam returns the hug with great force, leaning up and whispering against Zayn’s ear, “I hope we’re okay.”

Saying nothing, Zayn only nods before the lights on the stage begin to go out and they head towards backstage. There’s a lot of noise in the back, stage crew and other workers running around while the boys begin to get changed into comfy clothes. Zayn is in no mood to talk to anyone, all he wants to do is get to his hotel room so he can lie down and sleep for 12 straight hours.

All of their things are gathered and they’re quickly scurried into a van that’ll take them back to the hotel. The ride there is not only quiet, but has a bit of an awkward atmosphere. First of all, Zayn and Liam aren’t even sitting next to each other because when Liam hopped into the van first, in the two seater, Harry jumped in after him. As Zayn stood there and looked at Harry with wide, unbelievable eyes, Harry didn’t even flinch when he smiled back at him.

“C’mon, mate,” Louis had said, putting his hands on Zayn’s hips as he led him to the back of the van in the three seater.

In Zayn’s benefit, Louis smacked the back of Harry’s head for him.

Niall is leaning forward, talking to Liam, Harry and Paul while Zayn’s resting his head against the window with his eyes shut. When he hears Liam laugh, he opens his lids and sees Harry poking his side, tickling him. “S-Stop it, Hazza, c’mon,” Liam says through his laughs, smacking Harry’s hands away.

Zayn tries to keep his grunt down as he runs his fingers through his own hair, tugging painfully and squeezing his eyes shut to hold the tears back. He wonders what he’s done for this to happen to him, why anyone would want to see a person suffer _this_ much.

He flinches when he feels a hand around his wrist, snapping his eyes open and looking over. Louis is pulling Zayn’s right hand out of his hair and bringing it down, linking their fingers together and squeezing hard, but hard enough that it’s sort of comforting for Zayn. Looking at him with red eyes, Zayn opens his mouth to say something, but Louis just shakes his head and squeezes Zayn’s hand once more.

When they finally get back to the hotel, they’re rushed inside and sent to their floor after Paul gives them all of their hotel keys.

Before Zayn can get through his door and to his bed, Louis grabs his arm and tugs him down the hallway towards his room. “Wha—where are we going?” Zayn asks.

“Hey, Lou, where are you taking Zayn?” Liam questions, standing in front of his and Zayn’s door.

“I’ll bring him back in one piece,” he says, opening his hotel room door and gently pushing Zayn inside. “We’re just going to talk for a bit.” Zayn hears Liam talking in the hallway, but Louis simply ignores him and walks in the room, shutting the door behind him.

“What’s going on, Lou? Is everything okay?” Zayn questions, wondering why Louis dragged him in here. Not saying that he’s under appreciative of all the help that he’s given, but at some point, Zayn has to deal with the problem himself.

“Look, I just want to say my side and then I’ll let you go to bed because you look like death, mate,” Louis tells him, only to receive a blank look from Zayn. “Okay, listen. I meant what I said on stage. I know how much it hurts, to see someone you really like and care about just… give it to someone else. And it really sucks, but… you can’t be mad at Liam. I mean, he’s practically a baby, he doesn’t know when something he’s doing is wrong because he thinks anything and everything is harmless fun.”

“But Harry knows what he’s doing!” Zayn says, throwing his hands up. “And—and no one says a word, no one! It’s just _okay_ for him to act like this and we’re all supposed to accept it, but it’s not okay, not to me! It hurts, a lot, and I just hate sitting around and watching it happen. Liam is my boyfriend, and if… if they want to be together, then I just wish someone would _tell me_ so I can stop feeling this way.”

Zayn walks back and sits on the edge of Louis’ bed, covering his face and taking deep breaths. He feels the bed dip next to him as Louis’ arms wrap around him, holding him tight. His scent fills Zayn’s nose and his tight grip on his body relaxes him a little. “Zayn,” Louis begins, resting his chin on his friend’s shoulder, “if you feel this way, then you have to _say something_. Why does it matter that anyone else has to say something? You said it yourself, yeah? Liam is _your_ boyfriend, and if you don’t like something that’s going on, then you have to tell him, or else it will go on forever and eventually break you.”

“But why do I feel like I’m already broken?” Zayn whispers, turning to look at Louis as a tear falls from his eye.

“Because you’re letting yourself accept the fact that Harry can be around, touch, and do anything he wants to Liam and you won’t do a damn thing,” Louis tells him. “You have to go in there, tell Liam how you feel, and fix everything. I can’t stand seeing you like this, and neither can Niall. We’re worried about you, mate.”

Zayn nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. “You’re right,” he says, starting to stand up. “You’re right. I’m gonna go in there and tell Liam everything. And… hopefully it’ll fix everything, right?” He looks at Louis with a worried face.

Louis stands up and pats Zayn’s shoulder. “Zayn, if there’s one thing that I’m absolutely positive about, it’s that Liam is crazy about you,” Louis reassures him. “Now go and fix your relationship with Mr. Sexy Payne!”

Zayn nods, confident, as he walks towards the door, but not before turning around and smiling at Louis. “Thanks, Lou. I meant it, thank you for… for everything.”

Louis shrugs, but smiles back. “Like I said, no need to say thank you, just know that I’m always gonna be here for you.”

He sends Louis another smile before leaving, walking down the hallway back to his and Liam’s room. Zayn stands in front of the door, staring at it for a moment as he gathers his thoughts. He pulls out his room key and takes a deep breath before sliding it in and opening the door. “Hey, Li,” Zayn says as he steps inside, “can we talk? I just… have…”

When Zayn looks up, it feels like his mind shuts off, and then restarts with blinding anger. Both Harry and Liam are on the couch, Harry kneeling behind Liam as he literally hangs over him. As in, Harry’s arms are loosely wrapped around Liam’s neck from behind as he rests his chin on Liam’s shoulder, both of them laughing and pointing at the laptop screen that’s sitting in front of them.

The door behind Zayn shuts, the noise making both Liam and Harry look over. “Zayn!” Liam exclaims, smiling brightly. “Everybody, Zayn’s here!” Liam says as he looks back at the screen. They must be doing a twitcam by the way the two are cheering to the laptop. “Zayn, come over and say hi to everyone!” Liam tells him, waving him over casually, as if Harry isn’t right behind, touching almost every part of Liam’s body that he can.

It’s like Zayn’s heart collapsed and caved inside of his body as he stares at the two of them. His mind isn’t working properly, or else he wouldn’t have said the first thing that comes to his mind. “Just fuck off,” Zayn says, only seeing Liam and Harry’s extremely shocked expressions before heading towards a separate room where the bed is.

Before Zayn could slam the door after he walks in, someone grabs his wrist and tugs, making him turn around and see Liam with, not only surprise etched on his face, but a good amount of hurt. “Zayn, what is going _on_ with you?” Liam questions, never letting go of Zayn’s wrist as he tries to pull him closer.

“ _No_ ,” Zayn grunts, snatching his hand back from Liam’s grip. “No, Liam, I’m not doing this anymore. Go be with Harry, just stop _doing_ this to me.”

“What? Zayn, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Liam tells him, his eyes showing every ounce of sadness in his body.

Zayn scoffs, even rolls his eyes at his boyfriend. “Oh, _bullocks_. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” His eyes begin to tear again, making him wipe at his face furiously. “So just do us both a favor, yeah? Go be with Harry and spare my feelings, Liam.”

Zayn faintly hears a click, glancing over and seeing Harry stand up after he closed the laptop. He begins to head over slowly, saying, “Hey, Zayn, you alright, mate?”

“No,” Zayn snaps, glaring at Harry as hard as he can. “Just get away from me, Harry. I promise you that it’s a poor decision to come by me.”

Quickly, Harry puts his hands up and walks backwards. “Alright, alright. I’ll just go back to my room, I suppose.” He snags his room key from the table and calls out a goodbye to Liam before slipping out of the room.

“Of course he would say goodbye to you,” Zayn mumbles, turning away from Liam towards the bed.

But Liam snatches Zayn’s wrist again. “No, we’re not finished talking!” Liam yells, making Zayn flinch a bit, because Liam _never_ yells at anyone about anything. He grabs Zayn’s arms near his shoulders and squeezes, staring into Zayn’s eyes as he speaks. “Zayn, what has gotten into you lately? Why have you been acting so different, and why did you just tell me to fuck off?” Zayn says nothing, feeling bad for cursing at Liam when he could have said a million other things. “Listen, if you want to—to break up, then do it now, because I don’t know what to do anymore,” Liam rambles, his breath hitching. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry, but if this is just something—”

Zayn cuts him off, speaking over Liam. “Well it seems like you’re the one who wants to break up with me, with the way you spend almost every waking moment in someone else’s arms.”

“ _What_?” Liam asks, his eyes widening. “Someone else’s arms? Who do you mean?”

Liam’s obliviousness, that Zayn usually thinks is adorable, is now only frustrating and annoying. “Oh, I wonder who, Liam. I don’t know, maybe it’s the guy that’s all over you every free second that he can. Or maybe it’s the guy who invades your personal space constantly while touching, kissing, loving you. Or could it even be the guy who isn’t afraid to look you in the eye and tell you that he loves you over and over again,” Zayn says, a bite to his words. “Oh, wait! You know what’s funny, is that all of those things come from _one_ person.” By this time, Liam’s hands have fallen from Zayn’s side. “But you know what’s even funnier?” he questions, although he’s certainly not laughing. “What’s funnier is that that person isn’t even your _boyfriend_.”

It seems to finally click in Liam’s mind as it looks like it all hit him like a ton of bricks. “No, Zayn, listen to me, okay?” Liam says, stepping closer.

“No,” Zayn demands. “You listen to me first. You know why? Because for the past _two years_ I’ve had to sit and watch you and Harry become closer and closer every day. And every day since then, it’s been _killing_ me inside. It’s not fair, Liam, it’s not fair for me to sit here and watch him hold you and touch you and love you the way I’m supposed to. And even when we were just dancing ‘round each other, even when we would hold hands and lie in bed together, I never wanted to fall even harder because I—I just never knew if you were doing those things with Harry.”

Liam frowns, biting his lip and looking away in confusion. “But I asked you to be my boyfriend, I don’t… I don’t know how you could have thought that.”

“It’s kind of hard not to, Liam,” Zayn says with a sad laugh. “The way he looks at you, the way you look at him… it’s like there’s no one else around. Your chemistry is amazing, the way you two bounce off of each other, how comfortable you are around each other… I would always wonder when you would realize that you made a mistake and asked the wrong guy to be your boyfriend. And every, every touch, smile, laugh that he sent your way or vice versa, I had to sit here and watch it all happen. And, and I didn’t know what to do!” He tosses his arms up, only to have them fall back down and smack against the sides of his legs. “What do I say? Tell my best mate to stop being around my boyfriend? Tell him that I’m extremely jealous that he can do things that can make you happy and I can’t? Any way I put it, it sounded more and more stupid. So I didn’t say anything. And all day, my heart’s been _hurting_ and my brain is pounding because Harry was everywhere, all at once, every moment, and it only got me angrier throughout the day.”

Zayn can’t really read Liam’s face because there are so many expressions going on that he doesn’t know where to start. Liam walks over to the edge of the bed and sits down, running his hand over his face and looking up at Zayn. “So that’s why you were acting weird all day? Because of me and Harry?” Liam asks.

“It—” Zayn starts, but bites his lip and shakes his head. “It’s so hard to explain because it just all seems ridiculous.” He sits down next to Liam, leaning his elbows on his knees as he begins explaining. “At first, it was when we woke up and went to go get a bite. Harry just came into our room without having anyone let him in because he said you gave him a key. Then it was at lunch, where you were playing with his hair and he kissed your knuckles.” Zayn’s just getting mad thinking about it all. “And then he was practically attached to you at soundcheck, and then it had gotten especially worse during the show.”

“I hated tonight’s show,” Liam says, making Zayn look over at him. “I’ve never felt so much anger in my life than I did tonight. To look over at you and see Louis there, whispering in your ear and making you laugh and those long hugs,” he lists, his hands curling into fists. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way in my entire life.”

“Now you know what I felt for two years,” Zayn comments, looking down into his lap. “I love Harry, I really do, and he’s one of my best mates. But he has to know what he’s doing isn’t okay, especially with me. All of the times that I went to him and gushed my feelings for you before anything happened between us, and then as soon as I get the closest thing to perfection, he comes in and ruins it all for me.”

Liam reaches over and puts his hand on Zayn’s leg, desperately trying to look in his eyes. “It’s not ruined, nothing is ruined,” Liam says. “Zayn… I am _so_ sorry if all the things that happened have hurt you. I truly didn’t know and whenever you were in an off mood, I had suspicions that something was wrong, but I never expected this.” He scoots closer to Zayn, their sides touching as Liam continues talking. “There is absolutely nothing in the world that would tear me away from dating you, not even Harry Styles.”

“But the way he looks at you—” Zayn starts, but is cut off by Liam shushing him.

“The way he looks at me will always be the look of a platonic friend,” Liam says, leaning his body against Zayn’s. “The way he looks at me will never compare to the way you look at me, and how crazy my stomach gets when you do.” Zayn lifts his head to look at Liam, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the brimming tears. “I wish you knew how much I really like you, Zayn,” Liam tells him, looking into his big, brown orbs. “Half of the time that I’m with Harry, you’re all I talk about. About how good we’re doing together, how you make me feel, how I think that… being with you is all I want for a long time.”

Liam reaches up and pushes Zayn’s hair back gently, tugging on it in the back. “This is why I didn’t want to say anything, because it all sounds ridiculous. All of this happened because I’m a jealous freak and you’re perfect. You’re so perfect, Li, and even I wouldn’t be surprised if Harry really does like you,” Zayn says.

“It’s not ridiculous, because it if is, then I’m an idiot for getting angry about Louis hugging you on stage,” Liam tells him. “And Harry doesn’t like me. I know it doesn’t seem like that, but what he has with Louis, whatever that may be, is what he wants. Not me. He knows my heart belongs to you.” Leaning down, Liam presses a light, gentle kiss to Zayn’s lips. Zayn can feel his heart beating rapidly from just the feel of Liam’s mouth against his. He’s wanted this all day, to be with just Liam and kiss him until they’re both breathless. “I never want to lose this,” Liam whispers against Zayn’s lips. “I hope you feel the same.”

Zayn laughs a bit, shaking his head and resting his forehead against Liam’s. “I wouldn’t have felt like utter shit all day if I didn’t want you as badly as I do, Li.”

He looks into Liam’s eyes again, seeing them squinted because he’s smiling, which only makes Zayn smile. Reaching up, Liam wraps a hand around Zayn’s neck and pulls him in for another kiss. Zayn kisses him back and wraps his arms around Liam’s neck, loving the feeling of Liam around him, near him again.

Eventually, they’re lying back on the bed, Liam underneath Zayn as they continue to kiss. Zayn’s hands are everywhere on Liam’s body, lightly scratching his fingers down his chest under his shirt, gripping his hips, hands grazing over Liam’s sleep pants. He writhes under Zayn, pushing and arching his body so that Zayn will fully touch him the way Liam wants him to. Zayn grins against his lips as he dips his fingertips into Liam’s briefs. “Are you eager for something, Mr. Payne?” Zayn mumbles, nipping Liam’s bottom lip and tugging.

“You are such a tease,” Liam groans, tugging on Zayn’s shirt to bring him closer. “C’mon, I’ve been thinking about this all day, please.” He pushes his hands up Zayn’s shirt, bringing it up with him as it bundles around his armpits so Zayn will get the hint.

He sits up and grabs his shirt, pulling it off and tossing it aside before leaning back down. “Yeah? What were you thinking about, exactly?” Zayn questions, a grin still playing across his lips as he teases around Liam’s briefs once more.

Liam bites his lip, his neck flushing red. Zayn knows that Liam gets embarrassed when he talks dirty, but Zayn is really into it and Liam likes to see the way he reacts to it. Usually it makes Zayn drop his cocky façade and turns him into a mess in Liam’s arms, something that Liam loves to see. So when they have time, they’ll tease each other all night and see who breaks first, a game they can’t deny that they love to play.

“Well,” Liam starts, dragging his hand down Zayn’s bare chest, “in the morning after you got out of the shower, I kind of wanted to rip that towel off and take you right there.” He licks his lips and glances up at Zayn, whose mouth is slightly parted as he goes back and forth from watching Liam’s hands roam his body to watching his mouth as he speaks. “So that thought was in my head just about all day. And then when we were outside and you were smoking, I just wanted to kiss you because you looked goddamn sexy and I kind of like the aftertaste of smoke in your mouth.” His fingernails drag across different parts of Zayn’s body—his collarbone, his stomach, his hips—which makes Zayn twitch at every scratch. “And every time you would change into a new outfit on stage, I would think of different ways to get you out of it.”

“Shit,” Zayn whispers, wrapping his hands around Liam’s briefs and sweatpants, beginning to tug them down. He leans over and gives Liam a rough kiss on the lips, which Liam returns eagerly. “As much as I love when you talk like this, I can’t wait any longer,” Zayn says against his lips, lifting his hips to strip Liam of his clothes below the waist. He takes off Liam’s shirt as well, ducking his head down so he can lick and bite his neck around his birthmark.

“I can’t wait either,” Liam says, pushing Zayn’s sleep pants and briefs down, feeling him kick them off of the rest of the way. Liam pushes up with his hands on Zayn’s shoulders so he can flip them over on the bed. He rolls his hips down to pin Zayn on the mattress, grinning as he hears a soft groan spill through Zayn’s mouth.

Liam stares down at Zayn’s body, eyes scanning from the tattoos that he loves to bite to all the dips of muscle across his chest. When his gaze moves back up to Zayn’s face, he sees him looking with an amused, raised eyebrow. The corner of Liam’s mouth tilts up before he speaks. “I just don’t understand how you could possibly think I would want anyone else when I have everything I could ever ask for right here.”

Liam wishes he could have caught the way Zayn looked after he said that on camera, because his expression was completely priceless. Zayn takes a deep breath and can’t stop smiling at Liam, his hands gently roaming his body as their eyes never look away from each other. “Kiss me, please,” Zayn whispers, sliding his hand to the back of Liam’s neck. Liam doesn’t hesitate for a second, dips down and presses their lips together. It feels different, better than the last, but every new kiss feels that way to Zayn. But he knows that this will be a kiss that he won’t forget, no matter how many more they’ll share in the future.

**

Zayn’s eyelids feel bright and warm, making him scrunch his face and turn the other way. His nose brushes up against something soft and light, making him look and get an eyeful of brown. He smiles a bit and nuzzles closer, feeling his right hand against an expansion of smooth skin. It moves under his touch, arching up as Zayn hears a groan followed by a long yawn.

The hair is moving under his nose, tickling it and making Zayn scrunch his face once more. “Stop moving and go back to sleep,” Zayn grumbles, wrapping his hand around whatever body part he can reach to tug him closer.

“It’s almost noon, love,” Liam tells him, shifting under Zayn’s arm to lie on his side. Zayn opens his eyes again, seeing Liam already looking at him. He smiles when they make eye contact. “Hey, you,” he whispers, reaching up and running his fingers through Zayn’s flattened quiff.

Zayn smiles as he skims his fingers up and down Liam’s side. “Hey,” he replies. He can do this all day, just lay in bed with Liam, holding him, touching him, kissing him, doing everything and anything he possibly could, just as long as it involved Liam. “Can we just not get out of bed today?”

Liam chuckles, but shakes his head before he leans over and presses a kiss to Zayn’s forehead. “We can’t stay in bed all day. This whole room will smell like sweat and just disgust if we do.”

“Well, we can shower, and then come back into bed so we won’t smell,” Zayn suggests, smiling brightly at Liam. He just laughs again as he begins to sit up. “Nooo, c’mon, babes,” he whines, leaning over and wrapping his arms around Liam’s waist. “Stay in here with me. It’s a scary world out there. Someone’s got to protect you.” Zayn gently bites Liam’s side, near his ribs, which makes Liam twitch and yelp from surprise.

“It seems a bit dangerous to be in bed with you, actually!” Liam says, smirking as he tosses the covers off of him. “You just bit me! Maybe I’ll go see what Harry’s doing…” Liam can’t keep a straight face when he looks at Zayn, whose expression is anything but amused. Liam grins widely, his eyes squinting as he leans back down and plants kisses all over Zayn’s face. “I’m _joking_ , it’s just a joke, I promise,” he assures him, nuzzling into his neck and pressing kisses there as well.

“That isn’t funny yet,” Zayn mumbles as Liam continues placing kisses on him. “In fact, I don’t ever think that’ll be funny.”

“C’mon, it’s a bit funny,” Liam says against Zayn’s jaw before he trails kisses down further, dragging his tongue near Zayn’s collarbone. He sees Zayn’s chest rise as he takes a deep breath and Liam smirks. He keeps kissing across his collarbone and goes back up towards his neck, nibbling on random spots as Zayn grips the bed sheets. Liam goes right under Zayn’s ear and licks, bites and tugs on the skin before he hears Zayn whisper his name. “Hmm?” he replies, feeling Zayn’s neck vibrate under his lips.

“If you’re going to kiss me like that, then we’re going to have to do something about it,” Zayn tells him.

Liam tilts his head up and grabs Zayn’s earlobe with his mouth, gently tugging and grinning when he hears Zayn hiss pleasantly. “What are we going to do, then?” Liam asks innocently, like he isn’t one of the biggest teases that Zayn’s ever come across.

Zayn moves his head away from Liam’s tempting mouth and smirks at him, pushing off the covers and getting out of bed. He’s completely naked as he heads towards the bathroom, looking over his shoulder and seeing Liam watching with him with his jaw slightly dropped. “Follow me and you might just find out,” Zayn says, still smirking as he watches Liam scramble out of the sheets and quickly follow him.

When they get in the shower and Liam has Zayn pinned against the wall as he kisses him with all his might, it’s then when Liam remembers something. “Oh yeah!” he recalls as he suddenly pulls away from the kiss, Zayn’s lips following him until he opens his eyes. “I remember now!”

“Remember—? Liam, this is an extremely bad time to remember or talk about _anything_ ,” Zayn says pointedly, sliding his hand down Liam’s wet lower back.

“No, it’s important,” Liam assures him, smiling as he reaches up to push Zayn’s hair back from his face. “Remember yesterday when we were having a chat outside and I said I wanted to speak to you about something?”

Zayn is lapping at Liam’s neck, humming an agreement as his hands glide over his wet skin to pull him closer. His fingertips move down the side of Liam’s thigh, tickling there before he moves his hand around the back and trails up.

Unfortunately, Liam reaches down and grabs Zayn’s wrist, pinning it against the wall and doing the same with his other wrist. “Talk first, other things later,” Liam says sternly.

“But we have forever to talk,” Zayn whines, arching his hips forward to collide with Liam’s.

“And we have forever to do other things, which sort of pertains to my question,” Liam says, which makes Zayn raise an eyebrow in confusion. He watches as Liam’s facial expression tightens with nervousness, making Zayn wonder what he could possibly ask him. “Well, it, um… it pertains to my question because I was wondering if, after the tour and all, you would like to go flat hunting,” he says, looking at Zayn as he bites his lip.

Zayn’s eyes widen, staying quiet for a moment as he stares at Liam. “With you?” he questions dumbly.

Liam chuckles, letting go of Zayn’s wrists to put his hands on the side of his neck. “Yes, with me.”

His expression is still shocked. “For us?”

Now Liam just bursts out laughing, but nods as he rests his forehead against Zayn’s. “Yes, for us, Zayn. I want to go flat hunting, with you, for us.” He searches Zayn’s eyes with his own. “So? Would you like to do th—”

Liam can hardly get another word out before Zayn’s crushing their mouths together, kissing furiously as he holds onto Liam as closely as possible. “Yes, yes, god, Li, yes,” he mumbles in between kisses, laughing unbelievably.

Liam’s laughing as well, but soon the laughter fades to moans when Zayn flips them over so Liam’s back is against the shower wall and drops to his knees.

After their pleasant afternoon shower escapades, both Zayn and Liam walk out of the bathroom in just towels, only to find Harry on their couch, flipping through channels on the tellie.

Zayn immediately looks over at Liam, who holds his hands up in self-defense and shrugs, showing he had no idea that this would happen.

“Um, Harry?” Zayn calls out, walking closer to the couch. Harry pops up, quickly turning his head towards the two of them. “What’re you doing in here, mate?”

Harry stands up off of the couch, looking surprisingly nervous. He wrings his hands together and bites his lip as he looks at the couple. “Uh, well, I came in here to apologize.” He stops, glancing between Zayn and Liam, who look at each other and then back at Harry. “I’m apologizing because of my behavior, mostly to Zayn. I should have known that the way I was acting towards Liam would rile you up, but I continued to do it anyway. It wasn’t acceptable and I wouldn’t enjoy it if someone was acting that way to L— to, um, the person I’m seeing.” He takes a deep breath. “But I also want you to know that I am not attracted to Liam that way and I wasn’t trying to take him from you. So, I’m sorry if I caused any problems between you two, and I will fully understand if you’re still mad at me.”

Zayn blinks as he stares at Harry, who still looks nervous as he plays with his fingers. Crossing his arms over his chest, he raises an eyebrow at Harry and asks, “Did Louis tell you to say all this?”

Harry, who everyone knows is a terrible actor, tries to feign a shocked face at Zayn’s words. “Wha’? No—no way, he did not! Louis did not tell me to say any of those things! I—well, I mean, he told me to apologize, but the rest, er, most of it was genuinely from me!”

Zayn shakes his head and chuckles while Liam is running his hand over his face. “Okay, Harry, I believe you,” Zayn tells him. “And I accept your apology.” He steps closer and opens his arms, seeing relief wash across Harry’s face as he walks over and engulfs Zayn in a tight hug.

“I really am sorry,” Harry mumbles. “I never wanted to ruin or hurt anything, that was never my intention.”

“It’s okay,” Zayn says, running his hand up and down Harry’s back. “Everything’s better now, so don’t worry your pretty little curls about it.”

Harry laughs as he pulls away, reaching up and fluffing his hair lightly. “Well thank goodness; I didn’t want my hair to get frazzled or anything.”

Both Zayn and Liam laugh as well, looking at each other and smiling even wider. Liam turns away, his blush rising in his neck and Zayn knows he couldn’t be more lucky than he is now, having this fantastic boy all to himself.

“Well, I also came by to invite you guys to Nialler’s room,” Harry says. “We’re gonna be watching some posh films and ordering room service for the day off, if you lads are interested.”

“That sounds great; we’ll be there in a bit, yeah?” Liam says, looking at Zayn who nods in agreement. “We’ll be over in a few, Haz,” Liam tells Harry, waving when Harry nods and is on his way back to Niall’s room. The two go over to their suitcases and get clothes to change into. “Do you really think Louis made Harry apologize?” Liam’s putting on a shirt as he looks over at Zayn curiously.

Zayn shrugs. “I don’t think he _made_ Harry apologize, maybe just told him what was going on and what it all looked like, you know? Harry probably realized what he had to do before Lou said anything else.” He steps into a pair of sleep pants and pulls on a plain white t-shirt, brushing it off.

“It was certainly nice of him to do it,” Liam comments as he finishes getting dressed. “Ready?” He snags a room key and puts it in his pocket before holding his hand out towards Zayn.

Smiling, Zayn grabs his hand and laces their fingers together. Just the feel of his hand in Liam’s makes his heart race faster, wishing that this feeling will never disappear.

Eventually they’re all piled in Niall’s room watching some rom-com that they found on one of the channels. There’s food trays everywhere as well as limbs, sprawled across the bed and the floor. Their stomachs are full and Liam, Niall and Harry are all passed out after they finished stuffing their faces.

Zayn is playing with Liam’s hair since the boy’s head is resting in his lap as he sleeps. Harry is literally curled up in Louis’ lap, head nuzzled into his neck while he gently snores against Louis’ skin. Niall is completely spread out on the bed with a half-eaten bagel rising and falling as it rests on his belly.

Glancing down at Liam, Zayn smiles a bit as he sees his boyfriend’s hand curled around Zayn’s thigh to have something to hold on to. When he looks over to Louis and Harry, he sees Louis staring at Harry as well, reaching up to lightly push some curls out of his face. Harry snuffs and tries to move impossibly closer to Louis, as if he were trying to mold them together as one.

“Did Harry apologize to you?” Louis asks in barely a whisper, looking up and meeting Zayn’s eyes.

Zayn nods, the corner of his mouth turning up once more. “I knew you had something to do with that,” he says, his voice also as low as possible.

Louis shrugs but smiles back. “You deserved an apology.” He looks back down at Harry, his eyes scanning across the soft face. “He apologized to me. Said that he didn’t know how much it was all hurting me, too.”

He looks in between Harry and Louis, recognizing the way that Louis looks at the young boy in his lap because he’s given that look to Liam too many times. “Are you guys ever going to find out what this all is? What it means to you?” Zayn questions.

Louis bites his lip and stays still for a beat before he shrugs. “I don’t know. I think… I think for right now, we’re okay. But some day, maybe.” He doesn’t look away from Harry, letting himself soak in what he can have now in case it all changes later. And it can, because Louis truly never knows when it comes to Harry.

“Thank you,” Zayn says after a minute of silence between the two, which makes Louis look up at him. “I know you told me that I don’t have to keep thanking you, but I feel like I do. If it wasn’t for you being there for me during all this, then… I don’t know what would have happened.” Louis starts smiling at Zayn as he’s talking. “I mean it, Lou. Thank you for absolutely everything.”

Reaching over, Louis takes Zayn’s hand that’s not occupied by Liam’s hair and intertwines their fingers, squeezing tightly, but tight enough for comfort. “I’m always here, Zayn. Always,” Louis tells him.

They don’t let go of each other as they continue to watch the film while all of the other boys sleep. Zayn takes a deep breath, finally feeling like everything is just _right_.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys liked it, and feedback is completely welcomed! Thanks for reading!


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